Why do women read and men watch …

Hello, my dears. After a week off I am back with some content. And today I want to talk about Erotic content. So, if you feel uncomfortable with it, please consider leaving now.

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Now, if you are still here let’s make some #baddecisions and talk about Porn. Yes, yes I know. You now think: „Kitty, dear, I thought you would just talk about literature.“ AND I DO! So buckle up!

To give you a short idea of this post: I want to talk about why women seem to prefer to read their porn and men like to watch it.

Let’s be honest, I guess most of us have seen some adult movie and either liked it or did not. But why is it, that women prefer to read their porn? If we look at the romance books on today’s bookshelves or dare to venture into „booktok“ on TikTok, then we see a lot of Sex. Between humans, elves, fae, dragons and whatever the fantasy world is offering young female readers to explore their sexuality and kinks. I am also guilty of owning a few smoking hot smutty books from the early 2000s and while I back then found them scandalous and amazing, I see a lot of problems today in the often portrait possessiveness. Newer books seem a lot more balanced. Of course, it might be a kink for some women to be dominated and owned (no kink shaming on this blog. You do you, my dear!).
The men in these books are literally „Hot as hell“, well build (because they’re mostly supernatural) and of course, they are perfect in bed. Much like the unrealistic visuals in Porn, these romance books hand women a fantasy.

There is a huge difference in how women and men get turned on. Women need some romance, a story to play out around the act. That doesn’t mean that men don’t need that but the majority seem to be ready the moment it goes down. In that sense, women get their juices going by reading these novels in which the act is described in more or less explicit detail, with „growly voices“ and „wild eyes“. Women don’t need visuals, because they can imagine it just by reading it. Also, more women than men read books, hence these Novels are so in demand. Isn’t it funny how these observations fit?
Furthermore, today’s romance books show a way more healthy and responsible sex life than twenty years ago.

In my social science class back during my Master’s (yes, social science was my minor) I had to tackle the topic of internet pornography and its effect on the youth. I managed to get a survey going and a whopping 200 people answered it anonymously. For a tiny student and a term paper, that was huge. During my research, I found out that men watch a lot more porn and that women prefer to read erotic novels. I also found scientific articles that warned of erection dysfunctions in men as well as the unrealistic and often dehumanizing portrait of sex and women. That means that women who read their porn have a much healthier and more realistic view of sex, while men who watch porn do not. Of course, the goal in both, visual as well as written, is to sell a fantasy to the audience.

I’d love to see more men read erotic romance novels. I am sure you will be surprised by how naughty it can become. Some visual porn might be rather tame in comparison.

There are also multiple benefits to reading erotica, believe it or not. Reading erotica can be one hell of a stress buster. Reading it together can bring a couple into the right mood real quick and it also helps women to figure out what they are looking for in a relationship. Obviously, the stereotypical rich, smooth and hot CEO is somewhat unrealistic, but it is more his other qualities (apart from the ones in bed) that can help figure out what we as women want.

Now… why don’t you tip your toe into the water and grab an erotic novel to see if you like it? Maybe you want to share your experience with me? If you liked it or not?